I know that I've been married like 5 minutes, so bear with me while I post a lot of annoying newlywed shit. This is sort of a big deal for me and I'm allowed to be excited about it and can you tell I'm maybe a little bit touchy about being that girl about all this?
I've been changing my name. I mean, I changed my name I guess and now I'm going about getting it changed on all my accounts and on all my cards and in all my spam emails. I've been to the license bureau (points for correct spelling WITHOUT googling), the social security office, the bank. I've gotten a new email and printed a new business card. Shoot, I even asked them to update it at the library.
Mrs. Moser. Amanda Jeann Moser. Amanda Moser.
It's pretty weird because it sort of feels like I'm playing dress up. When I was a kid, I wanted my name to be Karen (awesome, right?) and anytime I played house my name was automatically Karen. I feel like I'm asking everyone to start calling me Karen and we're all just gunna go with it, but permanently.
I'm sure every newly married person who changes their name has this feeling. I can't help but wonder how much more exacerbated this sensation is for me because my last name has been what has made me unique since I was a child. Because one of my best friends shares the first name "Amanda," I've been "Amanda Powell" or more often "Powell" (and let's not forget the variations- "Powell Face," "P-Dawg," or any of the other variations I enjoyed through high school) for a really long time. Even Brett has affectionately called me Powell.
Right now it's sort of kitschy and cute, but I can't help but wonder when it will feel completely natural to introduce myself as Amanda Moser. I'm having a ball signing our thank you cards "The Mosers" but it still feels like a gag. Remember how we got married and I changed my name and now I'm not Amanda Powell, I'm Amanda Moser and I'm allowed to sign my name that way and no one can say anything about it?!
None of this is to cast doubt on my decision to take Brett's name. I respect everyone's choice to do what they want when they marry regarding the name game, but it was the right choice for me. It feels special and draws me close to Brett and his family and creates a new unit between the two of us. Plus, it just sounds good. Amanda Moser.
I know my cousin Emily has joked about how weird the transition can be. She admitted to initialing "EP" on a document and she and her husband have been married over a year! What about my other married friends? Has it been weird for you? If you're getting married- do you plan to change your name?
Amanda Moser- signing off!
I can tell you it doesn't feel normal to me. The thing is, I think the timeline is really long because we live in a world where once the official docs are done, no one really says your name out loud. Or at least I do. I work at a company where people are all about being "cool and casual" and everyone just says a first name unless they are talking goss about a VP or something.
ReplyDeleteWork is basically the only place it comes up and still not that often. I'm still waiting to remember to sign my name correctly and it has officially been a year today. :)
I'm thoroughly (had to spell check that one) enjoying your posted about newlywed life and your honest thoughts concerning. You are allowed to be completely enthralled with the process and experiences you are having! I plan on taking Chris' last name and just the thought of it is a little odd...I want to take it, but I'm imagining being a "Dolt". One one hand, I get all giddy and ridiculously girly, on the other, I'll never be called just "Wittman" or "Witty" or whatever. I guess in the end, for me, it's a wonderful trade off.
ReplyDeleteAlso, along with the spelling, my grammar is terrible in that post. Oops!
DeleteI think the hard part is that "Powell" is the best name ever... seriously. I totally agree that there is just something special about sharing your hubby's name. Give it some time (if this hasn't happened already) and it will piss you off when people call you "Ms Moser"... I just want to scream, "IT'S MRS!" Keep posting, I love to creep!
ReplyDeletePowell is completely legit... I have to agree!
DeleteIt actually didn't take me long to get used to mine (maybe a couple of months?) even though I was super worried about it beforehand (I seriously considered keeping my maiden name, hyphenating, etc.). I mean, that was my *name*, it was my identity; how I could I change that? And then I did and it didn't seem to matter. lol I still get spam mail and emails addressed to maiden-me, but it's stuff I don't care about. Rachel's point made me realize though, I think it was easier for me because my work is somewhat formal. I'm introduced as Shannon Mawhiney, I sign emails and professional forums that way, my nametag says it (and I'm often asked how to pronounce it). So I think however much attention you're forced to pay to it will determine how quickly you get used to it. :)
ReplyDeleteWe talked about this a bit at work yesterday. It's infrequent that I introduce myself with my last name, I don't answer the phone with my last name, and I rarely find myself doing much paperwork that requires it. I completely agree that the more attention you pay, the quicker the process!
DeleteI am so glad you are enjoying your new name! Nick and I were actually talking about this same topic this weekend! I think it is a big deal and a big step towards being unified as a couple! I love that my name says to the whole world, "I am Nick's wife!" Having kids makes it even more special... it totally gives a family identity. We have told the kids more than once that we do something a certain way just because "we are Ramsey's!" Ha! I think it took me just about a year to be totally used to my new name. It is kind of sad, but 7 years later when I hear the name "Katie Powell" it doesn't sound like my name at all! I am totally used to being a Ramsey.
ReplyDeleteWhen you decided to use "Powell" as the boy's middle name was that more of an honor of tradition or another way to remain connected to your Powell family? :)
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