Beer: The Elixir of Life or What You Get Into After College

Product(s) I'd Recommend:

Beer. Specifically, a beer for all three seasons: Sweaty Season, Sweater Season, and Those 2 Days in September When It's Fucking Glorious Outside.

Cold Weather: 

The Boulevard Pilsner is the perfect beer for rookies like me, who you'll learn after my next two recommendations, like their beer to taste like not beer. It's the older half brother from Bud Light's Dad's first marriage. You can drink it. You won't really like it at first, but it'll grow on you. It's really good to order at a bar when you'll be maligned again for ordering shitty beer. And let's get real, when it's nasty outside, where else would you be but at the bar? Put on your turtleneck, get out the board games, and enjoy a night in with the Pilsner. 

Hot Weather: 

Twisted Tea is truly legit. It really tastes like tea which is usually a stretch for things that claim to be what they clearly are not. (Like Katy Perry and her entire career in the music industry.) I've only ever had one in a sitting, so no news on whether or not this could potentially send you to the ER after you fell into the bonfire whilst screaming "I THROW MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR SOMETIMES! AY OH!" 

Tolerable Weather: 

Woodchuck Hard Cider is like the first guy you were really into in high school. He's a little more serious than the boy you held hands with on the bus (Smirnoff Ice) but way less intense than your college boyfriend who gets you drunk so you'll open up about your true thoughts on Feminism in Mass Media Representations of Political Power (Long Island Ice Tea), but you still remember fondly even when you are engaged to be married to a guy who has both a full time job and an X-Box (Whiskey and Diet Cokes). The honest truth is that it's just really delightful, there are no hard feelings between you and Woodchuck Hard Cider. Makes you want to crawl into a flannel shirt, put your hair in braids, and just be that chick who actually looks cute in flannel and braids. 

If you're lucky enough to live near a Hy-Vee and have a fiance who has a penchant for their "Make Your Own Six Pack"s then you can drink all three of these in one night inside the comfort of your own home and give a big middle finger to whatever the weather's doing outside.